His Son's Name Is Praise

Jeremy Doku is living his dream: playing in the FIFA World Cup for Belgium. Back home, his wife is pregnant and could give birth before the end of the tournament.

A World Cup. A delivery room. And the quiet tragedy of the man who was never really there.

“I would like to be there,” he says. “No father would want to miss that. I know that the federation is aware and we will see what we can do.”

He wasn’t asking permission.

He wasn’t making a demand.

He was simply saying out loud what most fathers would feel.

And with that, 24-year-old Jeremy set off a worldwide firestorm.

That Jeremy would even consider not playing in the World Cup in order to be at his child’s birth blew pundits away.

One commentator joked that Doku would be an unneeded “spare wheel” at the birth. His old youth coach was even blunter: “The baby will still be there afterwards.” Five words.

Technically true. And yet, somehow, completely missing the point.

Then, on Friday, the thing went global when France Pierron, a presenter on French television channel L’Equipe, weighed in.

“This outrages me,” Pierron said. “When you are lucky enough to appear at a World Cup, there are hundreds of footballers who would kill to be in your place. It’s a unique moment, a childhood dream come true. And you’re going to walk away from that to be at the birth of your child?

“I’m sorry, the father serves no purpose. He is an extra. He just holds your hand and takes a photo. You’re going to take a 10-hour flight, exhaust yourself, go through the wringer emotionally… how can you return to play after that? The baby will always be there.”

L’Equipe later apologised. Pierron was taken off-air. But her words were already out in the world — and they represented something far bigger than one presenter’s opinion. — NY Times

A Belgian newspaper captured what was really happening with a single headline: “Generations clash over Doku’s dilemma.”

Not a sports story.

Not a scheduling conflict.

A collision of worldviews. Two completely different answers to the same question — WHAT ACTUALLY MATTERS? — meeting head-on in public.

One side answers: the career, the stage, the moment of glory. The opportunity that may never come again.

The other answers: the person waiting for you, the room you can never re-enter, the relationship that will outlast every trophy.

The NY Times put it simply: “Sport is a wonderful thing. It delights and diverts. It can seem incredibly important. It is also, for those who play it, a job. [But] It won’t love you back. It won’t wish you a happy Father’s Day. It won’t look after you when you’re old.”

But, thinking along the lines of “While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes,” what about the father who is technically present for twenty years — in the house, under the roof, at the table — but never really in the room.

He really isn’t there but nobody asks him to defend his choices on live television.

He just quietly becomes an extra in his own story while the career-is-everything fathers make headlines.

And that, I think, is a more repeated tragedy.

He is there for the recital — but his eyes are on his phone, scrolling through emails that could have waited until morning.

He is at the dinner table — but his mind is still in the meeting he left two hours ago, replaying what he should have said.

He is in the room when his teenager finally opens up about something that matters — but he is half-listening, waiting for a pause so he can offer a solution instead of simply staying in the moment.

He shows up to the graduation, the birthday, the holiday — but the people who love him most have quietly learned not to expect him to arrive.

He is present in body but absent in every way that counts.

And nobody calls it a dilemma. Nobody puts it on the front page. Nobody asks him to defend it on live television.

No. They just call it success.

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As it turned out, Jeremy Doku didn’t need anyone’s permission.

Belgium sanctioned the trip. A team doctor flew with him. His absence from the squad had been quietly explained — but Jeremy was in London, in the room, where it mattered most.

His son’s name is Praise. He rejoined the squad in Seattle two days later. A columnist named Alexis Carantonis had already written the only response that made any sense:

“If Jeremy Doku has to rush off to the maternity ward in the middle of the World Cup, there are only two things to say to him.”

“Congratulations. And have a safe flight.”

Selah. Pause and think…

What are you missing right now? Are you fully present in the moment you’ve been inserted into?